Welcome to Mystic Butt 🐾

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📬 Don't see it? Check your spam or junk folder — Kobe sometimes ends up in there 😅
A good dog with a good nose for the truth

Mystic Butt

I sniff out bullshit and pull cards.
One paw at a time.
Comforting. Playful. Strangely spot-on.

Not spooky Not scammy Not cringe Just butt 🐾
Pull Your Cards Chat with Kobe
Mystic Butt — Kobe the tarot reading dog
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How It Works

No pressure. No bullshit.
Just butt.

1
Pick Your DeckEx's & Breakups (5 cards), Relationships, Money, or Guidance. Pick the one that matches what's on your mind — or the one that scares you a little.
2
Shuffle & PullHit shuffle and cards land face down. Tap each one to reveal it — Kobe reads the full spread once all cards are flipped.
3
Ask Your QuestionType anything in the chat. Be honest. Kobe can smell vague questions from a mile away.
4
Keep GoingAsk follow-ups. Go deeper. When you need more clarity Kobe will tell you to shuffle again — new cards, same conversation.
What's your question for Mystic Butt? 🐾

Ask anything.
I've heard worse. 🐾

that magic link expired 🐾 kobe doesn't make them twice — but he'll make you a new one.

Mystic Butt
Mystic Butt 🐾
Tarot by Kobe · Ask anything
Online
Kobe
Woof. 🐾 Pick a deck below and shuffle the cards, then ask me anything here. Tap each card to flip it — I'll read the full spread once they're all revealed. No fluff. Just butt.
Press Enter to send · Shift+Enter for new line · 🎙 mic to speak
🃏
Pull Your Cards

Choose your deck,
tap to reveal

Select a deck, shuffle, then tap each card to flip it one by one.

💔
Ex's & Breakups
💕
Relationships
💰
Money
🧭
Guidance
🔮
Reading Types

Pick the one that
scares you a little 🐾

That's usually the right one.

🐾
Quick Paw Reading
One sniff, three cards max. For quick questions like "Am I crazy?" or "What's the vibe right now?" Short. Sweet. Brutally honest.
3 cards · Quick insight
🔮
Full Mystic Butt Reading
Deep dive conversation. For when your whole life feels like a knot. Kobe reads the cards then keeps talking with you until you get clarity.
Full deck · Deep conversation
💔
Ex's & Breakups
Situationships, no contact, did they move on, should you text back. Kobe has seen it all and he's not letting you off easy. 🐾
5 cards · Breakup energy
💕
Relationships & Dating
New connections, crushes, compatibility, where is this going. Kobe sniffs the vibes and tells you what your situationship won't. 🐾
3 cards · Dating energy
💰
Money & Career
Where's the money going, where should it go, what's blocking you. Kobe reads the financial vibes and gives it to you straight.
3 cards · Money moves
🧭
General Guidance
Life feels like a knot. No specific question. Just need direction. Kobe sniffs the overall energy and tells you what to do next.
3 cards · Life direction
✨
Why People Love Mystic Butt

A very good judge
of character 🐾

Dogs sense what's real — emotions, shifts, energy — long before we can explain them. Kobe simply listens and helps translate that insight into something honest and useful.

🤫
Totally Private
Your question and reading stay between you and Kobe. No judgment. No sharing. No weirdness.
🔥
Brutally Honest
Kobe doesn't tell you what you want to hear. He tells you what you need to hear. With love. And occasionally a joke about Applebees.
🚫
No Doom. No Fear.
No scary predictions, no pressure tactics. Just clarity, common sense, and a side of real talk from a very gifted dog.
🐾
Real Dog Energy
Kobe is actually a dog. Actually wears the turban. Actually sits on a purple table. This is his real life. He just looks like this.
More About Me 🐾

"Sometimes the universe whispers. Sometimes it sends a dog with good instincts and zero filter."

Let Mystic Butt take a look 🐾

Pull Your Cards Chat with Kobe